Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Strictly Late part 2 The Results

The opening dance this week was utterly, utterly fantastic. I loved every second of it and have watched it again a couple of times. The routine the execution, the costumes and the music gelled together into something really wonderful. I find it really annoying to not be able to find out who choreographed this piece of wonderful. I think it looks like something Lacey Schwimmer would put together and I did read she was going to be part of the show this year, but no where in the credits or on the website could I find any information - and I think that's really bad. In Dances with the Stars - the USA version of Strictly they ALWAYS credit the choreographer and I think this should be standard procedure in this country too. Now off me high horse and lets laugh at Tess's dress eh!


Now, my friend Clare's mam reckons them there are pan lids shoved down her front but I reckon the spooky hubcaps have an hypnotising efffect. DO NOT STARE AT THE CHUBOBBLIES, You are NOT feeling sleepy!

So the first tension from hell segment reveals Sid and Ola are in the Dance Off, which is pretty much as I expected but I'm still a bit gutted but here to take our minds from impending horror is Paloma Faith channeling  both Shirley Bassey and bizarrely Carmen Miranda and somehow pulling it off! I thought she was wonderful - however her skellington dancers were shite.

Lens Lens, I love a bit of Goodman singing I do and the close up they did of Darcey in this segment has finally and completely won me over yar. I think I love her. I also loved Bruno's disbelief at Michaels quickstep fantastic. One of my favourite segments of the whole of Strictly. Which is a bit of light relief before we find out Colin and Kristina are in the Dance Off which was somewhat of a surprise.

And it's bye bye Sid. aw Sid, I love your face. Especially in the big geek glasses you wear when you're on It Takes Two. Sniff.

Strictly Late!

Wotcha Strictly fans, I'm sorry I'm late with this entry - it's half term and my two terrors are keeping me on my toes - so if my spelling and grammar are a bit dodgy it's because there is no time for editing. Take your eyes off the little dears for more than a minute or two and the next thing you're steeping a five year old for an hour following a freak face paint incident - that's all I'm saying!

Strictly Week 4 - Halloween Special!

Opening Dance - to Thriller - mebbes a bit predictable but very well done and it's nice to see the celebs included in the group dance and Bruno was fantastically OTT. Then we move into Bruce's seemingly endless and joyless anecdote follwed by him dancing Gangam Style - which made my insides curl up and wither with embarrassment - thank goodness Tess joined in to ease my discomfort - slightly!

1) Dani and Vincent - Cha Cha Cha
Ok. let's get wiggate out of the way, Freddie is blond and Shaggy is a redhead, and being fond of red headed boys who favour brown trews, I have to say they made the wrong, wrong WRONG decision on the wig. Also the song was very slow and an odd choice for Cha Cha Cha-ing, in my opinion. But she has fast feet and they work really beautifully together and I really do think she is improving so much every week that she derserves naught but praise.
My Score - 7
Judges - 6,6,8,7

2) Richard and Erin - Paso Doble
One of my most favourite pieces of music, gorgeous, passionate and dramatic and bless him he did his best, and did quite well I thought. His facial expressions were pretty good, he looked quite a bit blokey like, which yah ner, is good! His posture and arms were lacking but the routine and Erin were beautiful. He really went for it and this lifted him up in my opinion - nowt worse than a lacklustre Paso is there?
My Score - 6
Judges - 5,5,7,5

3) Lisa and Robin - Charleston
Awwwwwwwww, I always want to love her and I do love her but all the movement this week was from the waist up and I also found it very repetitious. I really feel let down this week. I really hope they come back with a bang next week. Not literally, we don't need another canon (and defintiely not a Ball)
My Score - 5
Judges - 6,6,7,7

4) Sid and Ola and Iveta - Cha Cha Bleugh
Oh dear - firstly, the only fail in teh wardrobe department here, a skin tight flesh coloured suit  YACK -not even beautiful Ola was pulling that look off I'm afraid. And the odd highness of the belt - what have they done to slightly sexy Sid eh? Boooo! Secondly, SSS looked like he was bricking it, the nerves were palpatable (possibly due to the different partner situation) and thirdly where the hell were the hips? No attack, no hips, this looked like a week one dance. So disappointing as I love Sid and I truly believe he can do much better than this -though the breakdancing was pretty fab!
My Score - 4
Judges - 2,5,5,5

5)No Neck Nicky and Karen - Tango
I didn't like it. It was tango via boy band. His posture and frame are all too loose, none of the staccato and sexiness that I love about the tango. Boy band tango with manic fixed grin - just not my cup of tea. I would really like to see a proper tango this series!
Me - 6
Them - 6,6,7,7

6) Fern and Artem - American Smooth
Fern looked like a sex goddess vixen lady and danced like a virgin princess. BORING and disappointing. Bring out the filth Fern!
Me - 4
Them - 4,5,6,6

7) Denise and James - Cha Cha Cha
Denise did a little trip on the way out of the cage and I think it activated nerve central. She made a few mistakes and she was lacking some hip action but her facial expressions are fantastic and I still think she did really well, but after 2 outstanding weeks from Denise, "pretty good" seems like a let down. Which is unfair really, but if you're very good you are judged more harshly when you have an off week,.
Me - 7
Judges - 7,7,7,7

8) Michael and Natalie - Quickstep
BLOODY HELL! Where did that come from! That was outstanding and bordering on wonderous. Is this even the same guy as last week? Fast, accurate, light and brilliant - I'm still gobsmacked about this 3 days later!
Me - 8
Judges - 8,8,8,7 (well bugger me backwards has Bruno ever been the lowest scoring judge before!)

9) Victoria and Brendan - Tango
FINALLY! Finally a) she made it through a dance and b) a tango a real proper tango. I loved everything about this from the costumes to the music to the routine, great character, good spins and a little bit sexy. I thought it was gorgeous
Me - 8
Them - 7,8,8,8

10) Colin and Kristina - Salsa
A bit messy but the man can move, good hip action and good lifts. I do think Colin needs to raise his game a little, he doesn't seem to be improving week by week like all of the other contestants so yes, not purrrrrfect but entertaining.
Me - 6
Them - 5,7,6,6

11) Louis and Flavia - Tango
Good, another proper tango. Footwork, gymnastics, turns and acting all good. Flavia's amazing dancing hair - fabulous. Louis slightly gormless ballroom face was back but obscured by the make up which was good. That finally jump up into zombieville was great but once again the cameraman got completely overexcited when the flaviorites (hahah) hit the stage. I find this really annoying. Also whilst I very much enjoyed this routine I thought Brendan and Victoria's was better. I bet I'm the only one though.
Me - 8
Them - 8,9,9,9 -  (three nines, and nine is made of 3 three's and three as we know is a magic number -oh my gawd!)

12) Kimberly and Pasha - Paso Doble
Fanflippingtastic, great movement around the floor, fantastic shaping, great facial expressions. She really attacked that. Her timing is immaculate and Pasha as always blows it out of the water with his choreography. This might have been my dance of the night.
Me - 8
Them - 8,8,7,8

Overall - I loved this episode. I loved all the silly "spooky" intros, the costumes, the sets everything. I think Sid and Fern will hit the dance off, which makes me sad!

Monday, 22 October 2012

Welcome To Hollywood Baby, Strictly Stylee!

Hollywood week kicks off with an outrageously Kristina heavy performance which I absolutely loved. Loved the fan dancing (oooer!), the old world glamour of the camera above/leg dancing shenanigans  I love Kristina - she is my favourite of the female Pros and this was just fantastic. Yes I'll definitely "Have a little bit of this" (That was my version of a Bruce joke - did you groan, didya?)

And then Craig arrives dressed as the Tin Man, that did in fact make me giggle, I love Craig an almost embarrassing amount! On with the show!

1) Fern and Artem - Charleston - Mary Poppins
I think that has to be the slowest Charleston I have ever seen, I was waiting for it to rev up and get going - and the comedy funny faces and the daft Charleston moves and they just didn't happen. It was elegant and I think Fern looked amazing but I really felt disappointed by this; although her backwards splits between Artem's legs was very impressive it wasn't enough to save this dance for me.
My Score - 5
Judges Score - 5,6,6,6

*Ha - did you think I would let this opportunity for a gratuitous Dick Van Dyke photo pass me by? HECK no. I freaking love DVD with a passion that has been undiminished for 30 years, like I would waste an opportunity as golden as this one!  

2) Victoria and Brendan - Rumba - An Officer And A Gentleman
Aw pet, multiple wardrobe malfunctions left this dance a mess. It's such a shame as it started really quite well  and looked like it could have been ok - most celebs struggle with this dance (it's a bit sexy like innit) so I always give them a bit of a pass for this dance but by the end of this one I just wanted to give poor Vic a hug. I hope next week (should they survive this) goes well for her.
My Score - 5
Judges - 4,5,7,6

3) Michael and Natalie - Cha Cha Cha - The Full Monty
Very nearly an nasty accident at the end of this dance, he just about saved himself didn't he? In more ways than one. I think Michael looked really quite awkward throughout the dance and he definitely has timing issues but he's trying so hard and he really does have quite a spectacular bottom and his hip action is pretty good. So yer nah, not all bad, not really very good either though
My Score - 4
Judges - 3,6,6,4

4) Jerry and Anton - Quickstep - The Graduate
Her best performance so far I think. She is still suffering from 'spaghetti arms' but her footwork was pretty nice. She is never, ever going to top the leaderboard but I think this was a massive improvement and the ending of the dance made me snigger - Anton is definitely playing to her strengths - the biggest being her fantastic sense of humour!
My score - 5
Judges Score - 3,6,5,4

5) Sid and Ola - Tango? - Rock of Ages
This did not feel like a tango on any level. I hated the choreography it was nowt or summat, it was all over the place and as Sid is one of my very favs I found this incredibly disappointing and would not be at all surprised if he went out on the basis of this dance. Poor Sid *sniff*
My Score - 4
Judges - 4,4,5,4  Awwwwwwwww Sid!

6) Kimberly and Pasha - Quickstep - Summer Stock
Glorious choreography, an absolutely beautiful performance. I loved the opening section, the outfits, the routine, Kimberly's fantastic ear to ear smile. Just wonderful. I think Pasha is amazing at creating a sense of atmosphere and he hit the nail on the head again this week. I adore him.
My Score - 7
Judes - 7,7,7,8

*yes, yes another complete gratuitous photo of men I love. This time one of the most attractive men who ever lived Gene Kelly...Swoooon.

7) Denise and James - Foxtrot - Toy Story 
I was really worried about this dance and the outfits and the song etc (Why couldn't they dress her as Buzz eh - that would be FANTASTIC!) but I thought this was beautiful storytelling, the opening section was quick but fun and the actual dance was elegant and simple and rather exquisite. I loved it
My Score - 8
Judges 8,8,8,8

8) Colin and Kristina - Argentine Tango - Goldeneye
I love this song, I am not ashamed to admit it. It's kind of sexy and sultry and makes me think of Pierce Brosnan...mmmm Pierce - you know that bit in Mamma Mia when Meryl Streep rips his shirt off? That's the best bit of the film...sorry distracted. Yes, dancing. I have no idea how Colin did at all as my eyes were firmly locked on the freaking gorgeousness of Kristina - everything about that dance was designed for that very purpose. The dress, the amazing lifts, the whole routine. And it was clever, Colin has been away filming all week and they had 10 hours of rehearsal! You'd never know it looking at that. Clever and brave choreography I applaud my leading lady once again.
My score - 7 (but a 10 for Kristina)
Juges - 77,6,6

9) Richard and Erin - Quickstep - 9 to 5
Well to be honest my expectations, after last week's faux Russell extravaganza, were very low, very low indeed but I kind of liked that. I loved the story and that Erin was the boss (and Erin's outfit was fabulous!), I love the sort of 30's vibe they had going on and I think he danced that really quite well. Really, Craig RH and I are very wise and urge this Richard and not Camp Richard to keeeeeep dancing!
My Score - 6
Judges - 6,7,6,6,

10) Dani and Vincent - Foxtrot - The Wizard of Oz
Wow! Dani has really found her confidence. That was so beautifully danced. Vincent created a lovely romantic mood and it was so light and surprising elegant and flowing. A really lovely surprise. Both Foxtrots have been highlights this week -has that ever happened before in SCD?
My Score - 8
Judges - 7,6,8,8

11) Lisa and Robin - Jive - Dick Tracey
Hummmmm, I didn't love this as much as the judges did. I did think it was the first time Lisa looked heavy on her feet and a little laboured half way through. But I still really enjoyed it and thought it was really fun and she is a sassy so and so and I love that they put her in a normal dress with her legs out rather than the tents she's been in the last couple of weeks, that cheered me up and she has proper decent pins as well. Go Lisa!
Me - 6
Judges 8,6,7,8

12) Nicky and Karen - Quickstep - The Mask
The opening was excellent, he really caught the character but once the dancing got going his posture is terrible and his neck disappeared again. Still his best effort thus far and his first dance I haven't all out hated so that's got to be good eh?
My score - 6
Judges - 6,7,7,7

13) Louis and Flavia - Salsa - Dirty Dancing
a) his head looks so much better and less stooopad with stubble on it
b) shoddy, shoddy, shody and shonky camera work
c) he didn't get the character brilliantly but
d) I FOOKING loved it
e) he is no Swayze though
f)is this the second time they've ended the show? Is that fair?
g) I'm finished now
h) honest

Me - 8
Judges - 8,8,6,8

*I make no apologies for this one! 

Overall a mighty entertaining show with more hits than misses I think, or the good definitely outweighed the bad and even the bad has it's own entertainment value. Tess was really less annoying than ususal and more confident and comfortable. Less said about Bruce the better. Craig was abnormally nice this evening - very strange I liked it though, Another wonderful show. Roll on the Results show!

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Dancing at the Movies

My friend Jenni just sent me this link and it MUST be shared. This is outrageously awesometastic or as Craig RH would say FAB-U-LOUS! Watch it RIGHT NOW!

Quick Results Show Bloggage

ALL HAIL THE RETURN OF THE MIGHTY WINKLEMAN...and now, now my Strictly viewing experience is complete. That's my girl!

So The Big W is back and Tess is cosplaying as Greased Lightening, you know it's going to be a good show.

And the opening dance was absolutely wonderful and a nice play on the return of the DANCE OFF! I really liked that they did that, I loved the switching between dances and the costumes were gorgeous and I really enjoyed the whole thing. I enjoyed it so much I really was tempted to rewind and watch it again but no..on with the show!

So with all the pomp ceremony and tension we've come to expect and somewhat dread (and didn't Natalie Lowe look like she was chewing wasps the whole waiting time eh?) we find out that the first couple in the dance off is Johnny and Iveta and I think that is utterly fair enough.

Then we have a break for relieved giggling from those who are through and one of my favourite parts of the Sunday show - Len's Lens! Bruno's face gurning whilst Michael Vaughan dances was nearly the best bit but he was overshadowed by Artem's Amazing Articulation - I cried laughing at this it was brilliant! I also enjoyed Len's singing, ahhhhhhhhhhh The Winkleman I've missed you most of all.

Ok, so more build up, tension, tension, darkness, music, you lot know how it goes and dum dum duuuuuuuuuuuummmm Richard and Erin hit the dance off. I think this is somewhat unfair as the worst performance of the night did come from No Neck Nicky and the Disappearing Dancer, but what can you do. And what follows is, understandably, two very shaky dances. But Richard definitely had the edge as far as I was concerned. And it seemed the very sensible and wise judges agreed with me (as is should be!).

Johnny was the only one I had difficulty warming to (which I blame on my friend Lisa who told me a story once that I can never shake out of my head, she in fact spoiled Johnny Ball and some of my childhood in one anecdote...though to be honest my favourite was always Tony Hart - if she has any stories about him she can naff right off!) so I'm almost pleased he's gone. But from this point I think I am going to be sad to lose anyone - this has never happened to me so early in the series and just shows what a great line up Strictly has this year.

To end on a high note - here's another look at my favourite dance of the weekend Denise and James' Jive

Monday, 15 October 2012

Strictly Week 2

 Let's doooooooo it as Rik Mayall would possibly say. 

Now, the show opens with Bruce speaking "street" well O.M.G. indeed is what I say to that and please, please look at the nice retirement homes.

1) Nicky and Karen - Cha Cha Cha dahlink
Well, No Neck Nicky does charver dancing in his hoodie this week. Awful, it really was awful, I had to watch through my fingers. I do feel for Nicky though, he says he couldn't hear the music and winged it so that explains some of the awkwardness and oddness, but where was his pro? She should have appeared immediately to the rescue (we all know, including you Vicki, that Brendan would have been right there in his sparkly armour) instead of leaving him to wiggle. I remain unimpressed with Karen so far which is a shame, the last few new dancers have injected energy and been wonderful. But, hopefully next week will be better.

My Score - 3
Judges - 4,5,4,5

2) Colin and Kristina - Viennese Whirl, erm Waltz
As always Kristina (who looked like Barbie does Strictly in a kind of wonderful way) knocks the choreography out of the park in a deliciously romantic routine. Colin was a little bumpy and steppy in places and though not as good as his Latin dance it was still rather lovely.

My Score - 6
Judges - 6,6,6,6

3) Dani and Vincent - Hot and Spicy Saucy Salsa
What a fun dance, fantastically energetic, fast paced and fun. I really enjoyed this, she was a little stiff, I agreed with Craig's splat dismount analogy but it really didn't matter as this really had the wow factor. Good stuff

My Score - 7
Judges - 7,6,7,7

*aside* I actually laughed at Bruce's comment about the song having good lyrics BUT then he has to push it further and further until you feel dirty having laughed in the first place. PITHY comments Bruce, get in do the gag and get the hell back out

4) Fern and Artem -  Ooooooooooh Viennnnnna!
Aw, I love Fern quite a lot. I love her flirty face and her pointed looks and her funny comments. I think she did ok, she had a touch of the LuLu's but she kept going and she looked beautiful. C'mon girl you can do it. Someone tell her to unleash her inner goddess will they, she needs a boost!

My Score - 5
Judges - 6,6,6,6

5) Richard and Erin - Cha Cha Cha?
Shades of Russell, I think some of the judges (except the ever sensible and usually right Craig!) have pushed him into this and I think it's a shame I really do. We don't need a new Russell, Russell was brilliant and I loved him and he was hilarious but we don't need an inferior copy. Let Richard alone, don't dress him in horrendous floral prints don't make him be car crash telly. I also think Erin lost her mojo a bit in this dance and it looked to me as if she slipped slightly. She was not our usual Erin. If I were a teacher I would be writing "must try harder" on their homework.

My Score - 4
Judges - 3,6,5,5

6)Victoria and Brendan - "Foxy"trot
Man, were you all holding your breath? I was! The stress, the stress, but HURRAH. She did it. Some little mistakes here and there, not brilliant spinning and odd shoulder posture BUT it was elegant, classy and really had that atmosphere of old Hollywood about it, I have to be honest, I whooped several times in relief and excitement, I think she'll get better and better and I'm looking forward to seeing more of her (and Brendan of course!)

My Score - 6
Judges - 6,6,7,7

7)Michael and Natalie - Jive Bunny
Well ya bugger! I think this routine was far, far too ambitious for a week 2 dance for a dancer of Michael's level so I think that Natalie needs to take the blame for this some what disssahhhsterous dance. Now, I have to be honest - I loved it. It was all over the place, they weren't in synchronicity once, it was absolutely full of mistakes but despite all of that he looked well hawt in those trousers with his snake hips with that big buckle and  I am a shallow, shallow lady and very easily pleased by such things.

My score - 4
Judges - 2,5,4,4

8) Louis and Flavia - Viennese Hairdo
Right, I missed almost all of this dance because I was horrifically unable to look away from Louis head. Either his absolutely stoooopad hairdo or the weird plasticky facial expression he had donned. I am sure the dance was lovely and probably technically better than anyone else so far, but I dunno, I was utterly unengaged by it, I blame his 'do.

My Score - 6
Judges - 7,7,8,8

9) Denise and James - Jive Talkin!
Now that is a fooking jive yo! A week 2 jive people, which contained a cartwheel and a double splits! Full of amazing energy and personality I loved every single second of this so high paced she got flipping whiplash, fantasticness! My favourite dance of the night.

My score (as guessed by the A man because of the whooping!) 8
Judges - 8,8,8,8

10) Johnny and Iveta - Fox"trotty"
Iveta is wonderful, I really hope they bring her back again. She is a fantastic partner in that she unobtrusively without pretension or OTTness quietly diverts all your attention to her, and she's gorgeous to watch and it's really clever as you're not looking at Johnny. Who was, well as  expected.

My score - 4
Judges - 5,5,5,5

11) Sid and Ola - Can't get no Salsafaction
I LOVE Sid, I love his energy his enthusiasm and his confident strutting. And I think this routine was great - Ola's boobies were mesmerizing, the lifts and the handstand were fantastic too. Though there were some mistakes and his hip action needs some work, but bearing in mind this is week 2 I 'm a happy camper. C'mon my son!

My score - 6
Judges - 6,6,5,5

12) Kimberly and Pasha - Foxtrot Alpha Bravo
I thought that this dance was bloody lovely. It was atmospheric, sad and poignant, elegant and beautiful. They had a nice connection and this routine was beautiful - I even welled up a little at the end. This was my fav ballroom dance of the night. It wasn't perfect but it was lovely to watch.

EXCEPT for the freaking spinning camera work - what the hell was that! I think the camera dept have a new toy hopefully they'll calm down so we don't all get motion sickness!

My score - 7
Judges - 7,6,6,7  (Aw Len, HARSHNESS)

13) Jerry and Anton - Foxtrippy
(A man asked me my expectation of this dance before it started and I had to admit it was zero!) I kept hearing Patrick Swayze's voice in my head exclaiming, " Spaghetti arms!" all the way through the dance. BUT,  better than I expected and her leg extension at the end was pretty fantastic.

My Score - 4
Judges - 3,5,5,5

14) Lisa and Robin - Vienese Panto
I found it almost shocking to see how light Lisa is on her feet, she really is impressive. The storytelling was beautiful as was the choreography. A little bumpy and steppy in places and not as jawdropping as her Cha Cha Cha last week but still fantastic. I love this duo, they are perfectly matched and I'm enjoying them a lot.

My Score - 6
Judges - 7,6,6,6

A poor opening led on to an absolutely wonderful show. I loved every second and also I didn't dislike Tess as much as usual this time around. I have had the realisation that she is only really annoying when she's with Bruce. It seems like she doesn't know what to do with her face when he's doing his thing. So she does these odd poses and facial expressions like a champion gurner. But up with the dancers she's much more relaxed and easy. Or I am finally mellowing in my old age - one of the two! So looking forward to the results show and the return of the dance off.  See the next post for that.

Monday, 8 October 2012

Strictly Baby! Week 1 part 2

The Saturday Show

The opening dance was fantastic, I loved it. Some of the parts that make up the Strictly Spectacle were somewhat missing in Friday's show but were here with a bang on Saturday. Though the Bruce and Tess show remains cringe worthy, I maintain my opinion that the BBC could save a fortune by axing the pair of them and bringing out THE WINKLEMAN ( I LOVE her!)

1) Kimberly and Pasha - Cha cha cha
Pretty good and solid start here for Kimberley. Technically, it seemed pretty good if a bit soulless - like something was missing. Her hand movements aren't as elegant or beautiful as either Fern's or Denise's but a really good start.

Judges Score - 7,7,7,7
My Score - 6 (ooh I'm harsh aren't I!)
Pirate Score - 2 yars

2) Sid and Ola - Waltz
I was expecting Sid to be properly rubbish I was so I was outrageously surprised when he turned out to be freaking brilliant! His facial expressions were fabulous, he really sold the dance and I was left a little bit speechless - which happens so rarely it was celebrated by the A Man with BEER. You go Sid you blumming dark horse you!

Judges Scores - 6,6,7,7
My Score - 7
Pirate Score - 2 yars

3) Johnny and Iveta - Cha Cha Cha
So Aliona twisted her ankle to get out of dancing with Johnny what a swizz, you have to take your turn Aliona, you got Matt and Harry the last two years and did amazingly well it was your turn - take it like a woman mate! Well, this went exactly as expected with one exception - the man can move his hips, I really don't know how to feel about that! Also how lovely was Iveta? What a lovely lady - hope we see her again!

Judges Score - 3,5,5,4
My Score - 3

4) Dani and Vincent (I MISSED him!) - Waltz
Slightly rag dolly to begin with and a little steppy in the turns (it's one of my technical terms) but she settled in to it and I think she'll get better very quickly, I think it was nerves this week which is totally understandable. Not bad

Judges Score - 5,5,6,5
My Score - 5
Pirate Score - 2 yars

5) Lisa and Robin (disclaimer I have Robin in the work sweepstakes so may show bias for which I make no sodding apology whatsoever yeeeehaw!) - Cha Cha Cha
Well flipping heck and that's just for Robin's vest yo! This dance made me so happy I actually had a pain in my tummy! Not only was it hilarious, full of content and amazing gurning the woman can MOVE! Beautiful hands, perfect rhythm, and a highlight of the evening Craig shimmying like a star to her during the dance - brilliant!

Judges Score - 8 (well bugger me backwards!), 8, 7,7
My Score - 7

6) Richard and Erin(argh I LOVE HER) - Waltz
Elegant and a nice performance which fell a little flat. Possibly due to the preceding fabuliciousness and maybe to do with the bloody awful turgidness of the music. Ergh, it felt endless and really spoiled this performance for me. (Hang on I am still reviewing Strictly here and not any show beginning with an X aren't I?) Still I don't think he did half bad and let's not try and force him to be the "new" Russell thank you judges!

Judges Score - 5,5,7,6
My Score - 5
Pirate Score - 1 pitiful yar!

7) Jerry and Anton - Cha Cha Cha (also known as the highlight for the A Man and his disgusterous old lady fancying ways!)
Barely any dancing for which Anton should be ashamed. But I freaking love her and don't really care about that.

Judges Score - 3,5,5,5
My Score - 4

(aside - Bruno coins the term Glamazon! Mint I love you Bruno!)

8) Louis and Flavia ( I've missed Flavia and her amazing dancing hair!) - Cha Cha Cha
Excellent! Some posture issues I'm sure Flavia will hammer out of him but check out that hip action y'all hubba hubba! I think this is a couple to watch, place your bets now!

(quick aside to say that during the judging this is the first time I have really warmed to Darcey with hints of Arlene perviness left, right and indeed centre!)

Judges Score - 6,8,8,7
My Score - 6
Pirate Score - narrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

Well that was flipping marvellous wasn't it? I loved every single Brucey free second of it and will see youse here this time next week. Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep Reading!

Strictly Baby! Week 1

It's back! My favourite time of year coincides with the beginning of one of my TV highlights of the year. I love Strictly. I love everything about it (with the massive exception of Brucey) the glitter, the orange spray tanning, the "funny" training clips and Brendan's perfect bottom. I will once again be doing my big weekly review starting, well, right now people!

Firstly, I need to say how over the bloody moon I am that the dance off is back this year, I really missed this feature and removed some of the fantastic tension that made the Sunday show an unmissable episode. Secondly, I welcome Darcey though somewhat reservedly, though honestly I STILL miss Arlene.

Friday Night

1) Fern and Artem - Cha Cha Cha
Fern looks amazing and though I thought this was a little slow for a cha cha cha and there was a little bit of mammy dancing about it that is entirely cancelled out by Fern's Fabulously Flirty Face henceforth known as FFFF. She is sexy as and no mistake. Go Fern!

Judges Score - 4,5,5,5
My Score - 4

2) Nicky and Karen - Waltz
Otherwise known as No Neck Nicky And The Attack Of The Killer Pineapple. Disappointing I thought, I had high, high hopes for lil Nicky. He is incredibly endearing though so forgiven - this week!

Judges Score - 2,5,5,5
My Score - 4
Oooh the judging. Craig's rant was brilliant I MISSED HIM SO MUCH! Darcey said yes or yar a total of 5 times in her minute summation, I think she is secretly The Dread Pirate Darcey and has a cutlass hidden craftily under the judges table!

3) Michael and Natalie - Waltz
Aww bum sticking out alert along with obvious counting with tongue occasionally sticking out - I think I'm in love what a star!

Judges Score - 5,5,6,4
Pirate score - 3 yar's!
My Score - 4

4) Victoria and Brendan - Cha Cha Cha
 Fantastic opening, loads of content and then aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh she totally lost it. It was watching through your hands time. Such a shame and I was actually welling up for her. I think she'll nail it next time - obvious potential and I loved how Brendan (I MISSED HIM SO MUCH) looked after her, he's lovely (biased)

Judges Score - 3,4,5,4
Pirate Score - 3 yar's
Me - 4

(Just a quick aside here to mention that Tess' dancing bike joke was so terrible I was ACTUALLY embarrassed - I MISSED HER!)

(another quick aside Bruce bog off with your "jokes" urgh - I in no way missed him!)

5) Colin and Kristina (I LOVE her, I MISSED HER) - Cha Cha Cha
I had few expectations for Colin and was blown away, I had to remove me cardi and put down me knitting he was *that* good! Lithe, gorgeous and hiptastic - Colin just went top of my favourite list also props to Kristina whos choreography is always immaculate.

Judges - 4,7,6,6
Me - 6

6) Denise and James - Waltz
I wasn't looking forward to Denise that much, I used to find her quite annoying on breakfast telly and the like. I am now a Van Outen convert - she is bloody great. Wonderful elegant dancing, amazing gurning in the training videos, fantastic sense of humour. Yup it's love. Also James how I MISSED HIM!

Judges - 6,6,6,7
Me - 6

 I shall do part two in a separate entry. Hold tight!