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Strictly Baby! Week 1 part 2

The Saturday Show

The opening dance was fantastic, I loved it. Some of the parts that make up the Strictly Spectacle were somewhat missing in Friday's show but were here with a bang on Saturday. Though the Bruce and Tess show remains cringe worthy, I maintain my opinion that the BBC could save a fortune by axing the pair of them and bringing out THE WINKLEMAN ( I LOVE her!)

1) Kimberly and Pasha - Cha cha cha
Pretty good and solid start here for Kimberley. Technically, it seemed pretty good if a bit soulless - like something was missing. Her hand movements aren't as elegant or beautiful as either Fern's or Denise's but a really good start.

Judges Score - 7,7,7,7
My Score - 6 (ooh I'm harsh aren't I!)
Pirate Score - 2 yars

2) Sid and Ola - Waltz
I was expecting Sid to be properly rubbish I was so I was outrageously surprised when he turned out to be freaking brilliant! His facial expressions were fabulous, he really sold the dance and I was left a little bit speechless - which happens so rarely it was celebrated by the A Man with BEER. You go Sid you blumming dark horse you!

Judges Scores - 6,6,7,7
My Score - 7
Pirate Score - 2 yars

3) Johnny and Iveta - Cha Cha Cha
So Aliona twisted her ankle to get out of dancing with Johnny what a swizz, you have to take your turn Aliona, you got Matt and Harry the last two years and did amazingly well it was your turn - take it like a woman mate! Well, this went exactly as expected with one exception - the man can move his hips, I really don't know how to feel about that! Also how lovely was Iveta? What a lovely lady - hope we see her again!

Judges Score - 3,5,5,4
My Score - 3

4) Dani and Vincent (I MISSED him!) - Waltz
Slightly rag dolly to begin with and a little steppy in the turns (it's one of my technical terms) but she settled in to it and I think she'll get better very quickly, I think it was nerves this week which is totally understandable. Not bad

Judges Score - 5,5,6,5
My Score - 5
Pirate Score - 2 yars

5) Lisa and Robin (disclaimer I have Robin in the work sweepstakes so may show bias for which I make no sodding apology whatsoever yeeeehaw!) - Cha Cha Cha
Well flipping heck and that's just for Robin's vest yo! This dance made me so happy I actually had a pain in my tummy! Not only was it hilarious, full of content and amazing gurning the woman can MOVE! Beautiful hands, perfect rhythm, and a highlight of the evening Craig shimmying like a star to her during the dance - brilliant!

Judges Score - 8 (well bugger me backwards!), 8, 7,7
My Score - 7

6) Richard and Erin(argh I LOVE HER) - Waltz
Elegant and a nice performance which fell a little flat. Possibly due to the preceding fabuliciousness and maybe to do with the bloody awful turgidness of the music. Ergh, it felt endless and really spoiled this performance for me. (Hang on I am still reviewing Strictly here and not any show beginning with an X aren't I?) Still I don't think he did half bad and let's not try and force him to be the "new" Russell thank you judges!

Judges Score - 5,5,7,6
My Score - 5
Pirate Score - 1 pitiful yar!

7) Jerry and Anton - Cha Cha Cha (also known as the highlight for the A Man and his disgusterous old lady fancying ways!)
Barely any dancing for which Anton should be ashamed. But I freaking love her and don't really care about that.

Judges Score - 3,5,5,5
My Score - 4

(aside - Bruno coins the term Glamazon! Mint I love you Bruno!)

8) Louis and Flavia ( I've missed Flavia and her amazing dancing hair!) - Cha Cha Cha
Excellent! Some posture issues I'm sure Flavia will hammer out of him but check out that hip action y'all hubba hubba! I think this is a couple to watch, place your bets now!

(quick aside to say that during the judging this is the first time I have really warmed to Darcey with hints of Arlene perviness left, right and indeed centre!)

Judges Score - 6,8,8,7
My Score - 6
Pirate Score - narrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

Well that was flipping marvellous wasn't it? I loved every single Brucey free second of it and will see youse here this time next week. Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep Reading!


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EEW Nano e spinning wheel Effortless Cardi Cat and Sparrow yarn and fibre
ERRATA aka Mistakes I make in this ep!  I talk about how much I enjoyed the John Carpenter ep of FutureMan, I totally mean James Cameron. I also talk about the direction you should spin and ply and give entirely the wrong info. You do not spin and ply the same way as your fibre will be Over spun and will break. You are taking twist out not putting more in. I have not slept much recently. I think that is it but ye nah, can't guarantee it!