Monday, 2 December 2013

Whittle Waffle Episode 4

Welcome to Whittle Waffle Episode 4! You can listen to the episode HERE

Things I talk about this time include!

Crappy Doctor Who playsets I refuse to link to but here's a picture that doesn't do it's crapness justice!

The utter dude that is Simon Gurr and his fab book 140 Characters
Improper Books for Butterfly Gate and Knight and Dragon
And hey, I still have a few copies of  Into the Woods
Dave Evans Illustration
Hounds of the D'Urbervilles by Kim Newman
Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

Doctor Who

The Night of the Doctor
An Adventure in Space and Time
The Day of the Doctor
The Five Doctors (ish) Rebooted
Day of the Doctor review by Will Salmon

 Tala's Tardis


Nancy Bush, Knitting Vintage Socks
Fancy Silk Sock

 Fooking, bastard, endless scarf!

The music at the end is by  Máddji singing "Iđitguovssu" (Dawn Light). This song is from her album "Beyond"  - 2010 buy it here

Also, the calender I posed for to raise money for three womens cancer charities in which I look like this:
is available to buy NOW click the LINK only five pounds for charity people. Please think about it!

Thursday, 28 November 2013


I've just been rooting through my ridiculously towering pile of notebooks (am I the only one with a notebook fetish? I fooking love them) of course I need something I wrote in one of them at some point, now so can't find it. Anyway I did find this, I can't actually remember writing it but it must have been during my last bout of insomnia several years ago - it made me smile so I thought I'd share it.

Thursday Night
Dogs barking
Cars starting
Boys shouting
Girls laughing
Doors slamming
Walls shaking
Glass breaking
Sirens wailing.
Stairs creaking
Music playing
Feet running
Heels clumping
House sighing
Baby crying
Him snoring
Cat purring
Me sleeping?
Not fucking likely! 

In other news, no Strictly bloggage this week as I was away at Thoughtbubble, which I will talk about next Whittle Waffle, so I still haven't seen the results show. BUT me and Izobel did watch The Hough and Amber Riley do their show dance on Dancing With The Stars, and though he is slightly clothed for my liking, I'm still liking! Enjoy.

Friday, 22 November 2013

Podcasting Whore!

I had two new podcasts go live today. The first is the latest episode of Everything Starts With 2000AD, my co host this time is the marvellous artist Henry Flint. You can hear us talking about all things Prog 8  HERE and here is the cover and amazing, droolsome, utterly magical centre spread by Massimo Berlardinelli

I also can be found on the latest episode of Geek Syndicate, which is a Thoughtbubble and Doctor Who special...which means I got to chat about comics and Who - two of my most favourite things!
You can listen to that HERE and because I mention this photo of Patrick Troughton - whom I utterly adore you can look at it too, it's toggletastic darlings!


And here is the clip from The Young Ones that I talk about!

Thursday, 21 November 2013

Strictly Blackpool

Woohooooooo it's Blackpool week. I love this week, I love how hyper excited everyone gets, the OTT nature of it and how it has a sense of occasion. Lovely. Lets rock on...rock on...I'm so fooking funny! Firstly the opening dance with all the little kiddies and the whole cast and the older folks etc was wonderful I utterly loved it. Brilliant and we're off to a flying start

Sophie and Brendan - Quickstep
LOVED it. A very Hollywood quickstep, lovely storytelling and pace and so nice to see her a bit more relaxed and smiling - I think it's a hair thing yer nah. If you pinned my hair back so tight it didn't move for an entire day, I think I'd struggle to appear full o sexy too. But that hair flying wild she's FREE, FREEEEEEEEe! Nice. I also love how she really thanked the extra dancers for catching her so beautiful. Free and well mannered, go Sophie!
Me - 9 Judges 7? 9,9,9

Patrick and Anya - Samba
Those stupid Samba bumjobs I'm surprised we don't have more incidents like this. AWWW I felt for her though. The malfunction just threw them off..I was so sad. Bless em. He has the sexy hips and everything it could've been so good. Ah well there was the remains of a really good dance about it!
Me - 8 Judges 8,9,9,9

Ben and Kristina - American Smooth
CENSORED  ...beautiful facial expressions which made me think CENSORED..oooh and those lifts which couldn't fail to bring to mind CEEEEEEENNNNNNNNSSSSSOOOOOOOOORRRRRED.
HEll YES! Let's have another look at it eh?
Me - 10 (fook off we've had this conversation!) Judges 8,8,8,8

Ashley and Ola - Paso Doble
Cowboy Paso? Really? I thought with - I'll be honest with you - a cynical and bemused air! I kind of loved that. I think they really pulled it off. The best bit is how well Ashley danced with the other male dancers, he really did not look out of place at all and I think that was a brave decision. Bonkers but brilliant!
Me - 9 Judges

Fiona and Anton - American Smooth
Although this is her best dance so far it was littered with mistakes, timing issues and awkwardness. Nice frock though! So yer nah, not all bad!
Me - 6 Judges 6,7,8,8

Abbey and Aljaz - Quickstep
Beautiful and joyous, I loved watching this. I loved the bit where she forgot herself a little and started singing. I think there was a bit of gapping, I noticed that too but it wasn't too bad and I think Mr RH was a little hard on these two this week
me - 9 Judges - 7, 10,10,10

Mark and Iveta - Jive
I found that painful to watch I'm afraid, stompy, slow horrid feet. It looked hard work. I watched through my fingers. Still though, 100% better than last week in my opinon! At least it wasn't creepy! Another contender for the Dance Off methinks!
Me - 5 Judges 5,8,8,8

Susanna and Kevin from Grimsby - Paso Doble
My dance of the night, I loved the proper old school feel to both the tone and look of it. I loved the music. It felt so appropriate to Blackpool week. Susanna is really understanding and picking up the 'character' of the dances more now and you can see it in both her reaction afterwards as well as throughout the dance. I just loved it. Also the dude was rocking them fancy pants oooh oooh and talking about pants did you see her flashing hers left right and centre it was a freaking PANTS FEST! More of this type of thing please!
Me - 10 Judges 9, 10,10,10

Natalie and Artem - Charleston
Fab, very stylish absolutely beautifully performed with sense of humour and character. I really should look forward to these two dancing more. But there's something not working for me, there doesn't seem to be that much of a connection between them. Mebbe they're too good. I dunno can't put my finger on it but I really enjoyed the dance and the music choice
me - 9 Judges 9, 10,10,10


 LOVED the opening dance with the old school feel to it. Brilliant! The bottom two are as totally expected Mark and Iveta and Anton and Fiona. And now for some entertainment oh oh NO NO stop wheeling out bloody bloody bloody BLOODY BLOODY Andre Rieu, he is full of Bill Oddie weirdness that upsets my flight or fight instinct, I can't bloody, bloody bear it. Oh don't worry because here's some more 'entertainment' oh no sorry my mistake it's JLS. WEll, I think my midlife crisis is kicking into old lady grumpy overdrive....erm maybe.

So we wave a goodbye to Fiona and Anton, they had a good innings as we grumpy old ladies are wont to say. I think Mark and Iveta caught a break - let's see how they cope next week!

As is becoming normal here is a video of Derek Hough - this isn't even from a current series but I don't even care because I am borderline obsessed and slightly stalkery!

Thursday, 14 November 2013

Strictly Winkleman

So, reet then. Late due to just watching the results show last night as it was the little ones  birthday at the weekend. Let's do this shit people! First off - my girl crush on The Winkleman is alive and kicking and what a frock me darlings, what a frock!

Ben and Kristina - Jive
Well, hello Sailor! Look, I am very shallow and indeed superficial and I geet find the dude incredibly watchable. Loved the routine and yes it was a little heavy and laboured but really, does it matter? Nope!
Me -7 Judges - 4(Craig was probs in the huff he'd put his top back on...I know I was!) 7,8,7

*note this is the SECOND time Tess has forced a Judge Dredd ref in here  and this makes me like Tess - not because of the hideous joke but I too have a habit of repeating jokes I think are funny over and over again. I am worse than Tess though because I laugh at them too. Hugs for Tess and her SHIT jokes please!

Fiona and Anton - Paso Doble
 This suffered in the extreme because the bastard cameraman from last week was back and this time ON THE WALTZER! Just stop it, it's horrid! Anyway, I dunno if it was because I am mean or seasick but ah didn't like it. She tried really hard but it just wasn't working for me. Lack of polish, lack of passion, a tiny bit stumbly. Just not quite there. Bloody aaaful dress in all!
Me - 6 Judges 5,7,7,7

Abbey and Aljaz - Charleston
Cor, that wig made her look like a hard face coobag didn't it? Aside from that, very cool and stylish rather than comical and fast but I really liked it. A jazz charleston, I approve!
Me - 9 Judges 9,9,9,9

Mark and Iveta - Rumba
 Was that really a rumba though? Really? They went for a comedy angle that just failed abysmally. The Rumba is sexy and passionate and romantic. And although this dance had that in places, it was totally overided by the comedic aspect of the costumes. They both looked ludicrous rumbaring about like the last stragglers at a fancy dress party...go home Mark and Iveta you're drunk!
Me - 4 Judges - 5,6,7(7??? Go home you in all Len you're drunk too!) 5

Susanna and Kevin - Waltz
Sublime. Beautiful, romantic graceful and elegant with lovely storytelling and just stomach hurting, tearwelling loveliness. Not that I welled up I'm a geet hard northern bastard but yer nah, if yer that way inclined like! Lovely!
Me - 10 Judges 9,9,9,9

Dave and Karen - Tango
Heavy and laboured - does it matter? YES, I'm afraid it does. Not because Ben is hotter than Dave that has nowt to do with it. But just every single thing was wrong with this dance except the skirts, I loved the skirts! No passion, not much dancing - walking fast isn't the same thing Dave me little dumpling. Aww love him, and I do but he is being utterly outclassed now and the comedy value always begins to dim when good dancers start being in the bottom two. I think it's time for Dave to leave though his Paso will live forever in my heart!
Me - 4 Judges - 4,6,6,4

Natalie and Artem - Shouldabeenajive
Fainting girl = straight to Blackpool. I dunno how I feel about that. I pass straight to Blackpool...I reckon she would've gone anyway and I'm not sure how any other way is fair it. I just am a little bit ambivalent about the rules here.

Ashley and Ola - Quickstep
LUSH! I utterly loved it, loved the routine, the song the ending. Energetic and entertaining. Ohh he's a dark horse alright, I love it!
Me - 9 Judges

Sophie and Brendan - Argentine Tango
That was ...ok. A beautiful and stylish routine, and a very good song choice. Really it could have been amazing  - the opening and closing were beautiful and so was the storytelling. It just really lacked passion and it's such a shame. Such a shame.She just seems detached and that will work for her in some of the other dances but not this one.
Me - 8 Judges - 8,8,8,8

Just cos I miss them muchly this's that Vincent and Flavia ,Argentine Tangoing it up for your viewing pleasure

Patrick and Anya - American Smooth
Little wobble at the end there but overall fooking brilliant. I loved that, it oozed glamour and hollywood and Fred Astaire Full of razzledazzle (aww fooking hell I'm turning into Len!) and amazing lifts and just wonderful. Very exciting choreography from Anya who is some addition to the Pro pack is she not people?
Me - 10 Judges 9,10,9,9

I have written NOWT down about the results show damnit! I loved the opening dance and the singers - that was lovely and I was not surprised by the final two and even less surprised by Dave and Karens departure. I will miss his nutty bloody face though. He has been wonderful, a comedy genius who didn't outstay his welcome. I salute you Dave Myers and will miss you!

Over at Dancing With The Stars central last week was Cher week and she stood in for our Len on the judging panel...this here is the highlight from my biggest current crush in the world THE HOUGH.  PHWOAR!

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Whittle Waffle Episode 3

Listen here

Welcome to Episode 3 which may be even more rambly and rubbish than usual, but right, I didn't MAKE you listen so you have to take at least partial responsibility dude!
Thanks again to the awesome Sally Jane Hurst for my amazing theme tune


For Everything Starts With 2000AD and The Megacast Click HERE
SPBM Special, How Not To Write Comics
Battle Gods of Pod


Hound of the D'Urbervilles
Dream London by Tony Ballantyne
Comic Heroes
SFX Review for Dept of Monsterology
Doctor Who Magazine


The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Dish of the Day with Peter Davison!
True Blood
Agents of SHIELD

Fever Ray

Doctor Who

Doctors Revisited
Web of Fear
The Ice Warriors
Enemy of the World
Just in case anyone thinks I force the kids into watching Auld Who, this is Tala watching Enemy of the World and the picture she drew me later on

Spearhead From Space
Pyramids of Mars
Earthshock and Death of Adric

Knitting and Spinning

Turned on the Cut, spindles

the Wool Room fibre
Nunoco fibre
Mud Puddles
Rosie Scrumptious


sockhead hat
Star Trek Socks
The Knitting Goddess
skein queen


Monday, 4 November 2013

Strictly Halloween

Let's kick straight off by talking about the opening dance. I love that everyone was involved, Bruno and his snake hips going mental on a podium always cheers me up. And I loved the little bit of Darcy and Len dancing, and Craig was shimmying like a mo fo in his chair. I just loved it, a real spectacle, in a good way! Woohoo!

 * I forgot to make note of the judges scores for the first two dances - sorry!

Patrick and Anya - Quickstep 
Here man, how brilliant was this? Fab costumes, fab choreography, fast and engaging, the music was excellent. Good job dudes!
Me- 9

Fiona and Anton - Charleston
Was this the most boring Charleston ever? I think quite possibly, except for the deep and meaningful questions it throws up like why are they scarecrows? They don't do anything scarecrowey, there's no hint of comedic scarecrow type dancing of the Wizard of Oz variety. Why do they do that dreadful bit with the hoe's (there's a dirty joke there I'm not touching!) - just why? Why was it so slow, what the hell was the song choice and again, how did that scream 'scarecrow'? What is the meaning of life anyway? This was just, well I hate to say it but, shite. 
Me - 2 

Ben and Kristina - Paso
HOLY SHIT! I think I orgasmed! Did Kristina even turn up? Did anyone remember to look at the dudes feet? I feel bad for objectifying this man in this manner but shut yer face, you did too! I know you did, you dorty get! Here have another look at it - you're welcome! 

Me - 10! (shurrupayerface!) Judges - 7,8,9,8

Sophie and Brendan - Jive
Hmmmm, not Sophie's best dance by far, She's made of knees and elbows here, it's very gawky and not very sharp, but she looks amazing and the ending was beautiful, I loved Brendan's jump, comedy gold! 
Me - 7 Judges - 6,7,8,7

Natalie and Artem - Viennese Waltz
I thought this utterly, utterly beautiful. I loved the concept, the use of smoke to have her emerging from the 'lake' just wonderful, elegant and graceful and gorgeous. Man, she is so good!
Me - 10 Judges- 9,10,9,10 (I loved Darcey and Bruno's high five here!)

Mark and Iveta - Disco Doble
Weird mash up eh? I think Mark can really dance and he had really good presence and rhythm, but I don't think the concept quite worked, Paso should be moody and passionate and commanding and it was too fun for that. I do like him though and it was entertaining
Me - 7 Judges - 6,6,7,6 (harsh!)

*any excuse for Hough Time, here's The Hough dancing the Doble with Glee's Amber Riley on this weeks Dancing With The Stars - it's wonderful - and the picture quality is much better than this still shows!

Rachel and Pasha - American Smooth
Lovely opening (said the bishop to the actress - sorry!). Loved the concept and the choreography and indeed the exquisite costumes here. But, though she received lots of praise, I still thought it looked like she was made of elbows, it was much better but honestly I feel for her, I do, because the girl is just not a dancer and that Pasha has her attempting this is all credit to both of them. So I'm not ending this on a down note here's a picture of Pasha, just in case you forgot what he looks like, ahem.
Me- 6 Judges- 7,7,8,8

Ashley and Ola - Tango
Wow, is Ola choreographing this? If so she's really stepped up this series, this is fantastically entertaining. I loved it. I thought he had the staccato, aggressive nature of the Tango very well. He had the character down and though maybe some posture and footwork problems, overall it was very engaging. I sometime forget about Ashley a little bit, he drops off the radar slightly but I think I'll be paying closer attention now, his best dance so far methinks!
Me - 8 Judges 8,9 erm, that's all I've written down, I must've been distracted by a small loud person...not me mam, Tala!

Abbey and Aljaz - Rumba
I think this is a very difficult dance and she pulled it off very well. She looked beautiful and the dance was elegant and sexy and romantic, her hips divven't really move but Aljaz hid this well by the dastardly move of standing in front of her and attempting a buttock mesmorisation technique, smart man, very smart! 
me - 8 Judges - 8,8,9,9

Dave and Karen - Jive
Well, ye nah what this was like right? It was like they pulled one of them Hairy Bikers offa the telly and made him dance. That's EXACTLY what it looked like to me! Bless him
Me - 4 Judges - 4,5,6,4

Susanna and Kevin - Charleston
Who fucking well knows what this dance was like, I certainly don't! What I think happened was this, the cameramen - who have been quite fabulous this series so far - were kidnapped and thrown in the broom cupboard, where possibly they discovered Gordon the Gopher is still alive, he has been living on spiders and is all emaciated and bald in places and is rabid and dangerous - I'm really worried about those cameramen- I'm just saying. In the meantime doppelgangers, who are complete and total morons took over the cameras and were enjoying the music so much that they all just started spinning like complete fuckers!  I was furious but I've calmed down a bit now - you can tell can't you? 
Judges - 8,8,9,9


I liked the opening dance very much, a bit different, whoever is choreographing this week has out done themselves. Good stuff!

Result 1) Abbey and Aljaz. Well, I was utterly gobsmacked by this, really stunned - not expected at all. Aw I wanted to give her a big, fat hug I did.

Result 2) Rachel and Pasha - again I was amazed, I thought she did enough to save herself this week, I was incredibly surprised not to see Fiona and Anton in the bottom 2 this week. 

They really didn't need to do the Dance Off as it was perfectly obvious who was going to go through, Rachel was well aware of that too and that she went out there and danced it better made me fall in love with her a little bit. We'll miss you Rachel and all your elbows, you were a gorgeous, gawky joy to watch! 

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

No Strictly Blog

I'm very sorry there will be no Strictly bloggage this week as my youngest currently looks like this:

So I haven't even had a chance to WATCH the damn thing yet. Hopefully all systems will be resumed as soon as her head stops spinning round. Anyone wants to offer their version I am happy to post it here!

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Strictly Shorter

Reet then me darlings, it's that time of the week again, this is going to be short, sweet and with minimal perving (hahahahhah - you don't really believe that do you?) Anyhoo Keeeeeeeeeeep reading:

Sophie and Brendan - Foxtrot
Lovely, she managed to look really relaxed and elegant and old Hollywood to perfection all the way through this. Fabulous frock dahlinks!
Scores - Me - 9 Judges 8,9,9,9

Fiona and Anton - Rumba (?)
OH NOES it's return to the Dell'Olio's/Hall/Widdecombe state of affairs. Howay man bonny lass, that poor boy has been through enough. Yeah, I honestly think her biggest problem is her nerves, can they not like, sedate her or summick? Or a couple of G&T's usually sorts me out. They're going to be in trouble fairly quickly if things don't improve
Me - 5 Judges 4,6.6.6

Mark and Iveta -Cha Cha Cha  (for some reason in my notes at this point I have written "urgh Brucie I could VOM!" I have managed to block out of my memory whatever it was he did. If you know - please don't tell me I don't need that memory back - cheers!)
This dance displayed Myer levels of bonkerness, Mark in his shitcatcher pants and gold lame top, it was comedy fooking genius. I loved every second, and actually he was really good, the dude can shift can't he? I laughed along, and it was 'with' and not 'at' which is fabulous!
Me - 8 Judges 3,8,8,7

Ashley and Ola - Viennese Waltz
It was alreet, fairly elegant, a little bit boring. I thought he did a fairly good job and I liked Ola's dress. S'it.
Me - 7 Judges - 7,8,8,8

Julien and Janette - Salsa
Have you ever been to someones house and the parents fetch out the beloved child they think is talented and they make the child perform, and then you have to tell the snot nosed git that it's fabulous and amazing and on the inside you really want to leave and never come back? That.
Me - 3 Judges - 4,6,7,6
* I have just stuck a mp3 of my child singing at the end of a podcast BUT that is totally different because she is singing the Defenders of the Earth theme tune and it's hilarious, she's RUBBISH it's cute as hell. Totally different...shuddup o yer faces!

Rachel and Pasha - Quickstep
Mmmmm Pasha, if only you'd taken your top off it might have distracted us all from the fact that it was a little bit too difficult for her. Loved the concept, loved the outfits but she's a little gawky and though I think it's good to push maybe this was a push too hard?
Me - 7 Judges 5,7,7,7

*I love the relationship between Len and Bruno, it's usually more like this on the American version, but Bruno falling off his chair laughing here was just a delightful highlight for me. Love his face.

Ben and Kristina - Salsa
Look, I don't know about the rest of you, but when that geet bloke starts flinging this little woman all over the shop, my brain goes to a naughty, naughty place. If your brain does not work that way I both envy and pity you in equal measure. That was fabulous, he's still a little stiff (oooer) but he is blatantly loving it now, and that's joyful to watch and those lifts were sooo impressive, I actually gasped when they did that when where her face went speeding towards the floor..oh my gosh that's good telly that is!
Me - 8 Judges - 8,8,8,7

Deborah and Robin - Jive
I can't believe how much I love the po faced one offa Dragons Den! It's that bloody grin, it's on her face the whole time it's infectious, she remains utterly adorable despite wobby problems and flagging energy levels.
Me - 6 Judges - 5,6,6,6

Natalie and Artem - Quickstep
No quips, no funny remarks. That was outstanding and I loved every bloody second. That is all.
Me- 9 Judges- 9,9,8,9

Patrick and Anya - Cha Cha Cha
Sexy and naughty this boy can cha cha. That was really, really good. I enjoyed it no end. He was pulling some really weird faces but his hips and bum were mesmorizing so who cares?

Abby and Aljaz - Tango
Her best dance so far and my favourite dance of the night

Dramatic and beautiful and just unexpected - especially with the music choice, that was inspired. I really loved it. Go Abby!
Me - 9 Judges 9,8,9,9

Dave and Karen - Waltz
Another beautiful flipping frock, I want this one though obviously I would look like a badly stuffed settee in it. A sweet dance missing the Myer magic in my opinion. But nice
Me - 6 Judges - 5,6,6,6

Susanna and Kevin - Samba
I loved the concept and storytelling but it did make me think about how the girls dance on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. She's gorgeous and it was a bit messy but she's just beautiful to watch - wildly sexy! I love her
Me - 7 Judges 6,7,88

The opening dance was stunning, much more like it. I really loved it!
Tess's dress was minging and black shoes - what were you thinking?!
Dance Off - Rachel and Pasha and Julien and Janette unsurprisingly

Well I thought Rachel danced much better that time so the result was pretty obvious. Bye Julian, I WON'T miss the random SHOUTING! 

Thursday, 17 October 2013

Strictly Late

Ok my fellow Strictly devotees here is the shit: Opening dance was as dull as bloody ditchwater and Bruce is back...still dull dancing is one hundred per cent better then nay dancing so who am I to whinge. Also, in some hideous DNA malfunctioning error my 6 year old has decided she really loves "that funny man who does the funny dance" so she's not allowed to watch it anymore!

Abby and Aljaz - Jive
Stompy and a bit slow but a week 3 jive is never going to be that outstanding (mind I said that about a week 2 charleston and look what Sophie did!). Anyway not bad enough to mock not good enough to rave over. She did look beautiful though, another fantastic costume week!
Scores: Me - 6 Judges 6,7,8,7 (Len is deluded!)

Patrick and Anya - Foxtrot
Perfectly pleasant, quite stylish actually if a tiny bit slow.
Scores: Me - 7 Judges - 6,7,7,7

Dave and Karen - Paso Doble
Telly - give up and go home now because you will never, ever beat that! Horrific and compelling it hurt my stomach with laughter but my heart with some weird love I feel for the funny bugger. Awesome! Can't resist posting it for your viewing pleasure!
Me - 5 (but really 11) Judges - 2,5,5,4

Fiona and Anton - Waltz
Poor buggers, it must be hard trying to perform a beautiful and elegant dance after the sheer madness that they had to follow. It was fine, a bit stilted but fine.
Me - 7 Judges - 7,7,7,7

Rachel and Pasha - Cha Cha Cha
Pasha is my fav of the male pro dancers - I totally would, aal ower the shop, I'm pointing this out because, much like when Derek Hough dances on Dancing With the Stars, I erm, well. Look lets me honest here - I forgot to look at her. I'm a terrible person, I know, we all know but right I am an amazing and experienced pervert and here look at this:

Anyhoo Scores - 7, Judges - 6,7,7,7

Mark and Iveta - American Smooth 
Very nice and sweet
Scores: Me - 6 Judges - 6,6,7,7

NOTE - Gosh it's all so lovely and sweet and pleasant, and right I know it's 'Love' week and all but where's the goddamn passion eh? Where's the heat. I have never known love to be sweet and pleasant and nice, it's filthy and hard and intoxicating. It's all too nice, I have nothing to get my teeth into. It's like eating chocolate torte really, it's all nice and that but then you feel sick. I'm now a bit annoyed by the safeness and mehness with the very notable exception of Barking Mad Myers.

Ben and Kristina - Rumba
Oh well, FINALLY! A load of passion, a bit of hip action, he was working his (frankly gorgeous) face! Not perfect but finally a bit of HEAT! Also does anyone else find Kristina's arse hypnotic? Just me? Finally a TON of personality from Ben. Loved it they are getting an extra point from me for not being safe and boring!
Scores - Me -8 Judges - 7,7,7,7

Sophie and Brendan - Samba
HURRAH, finally this show is moving and shaking and rolling all over the shop. STUFFED full of steps I absolutely loved that, and she coped with it so, so well. I am team Sophie!  I have the Brendan love  too and he's raised his game and his choreography, and so this is joyful.
Scores - Me - 8 Judges - 7,8,8,8,

Julien and Janette - Jive
More bonkers antics from JULIEN who randomly shouts the ODD word in a WEIRD and distracting manner! HAHAAHH. Erm. This routine was great, really stylish, lovely Blues Brothers homage, her legs are amazing and she dragged him through that by the skin of his teeth. Strangely entertaining
Scores - Me - 4 Judges - 4,5,7,6 (I think Len's been on the happy pills me like)

Susanna and Kevin - Waltz
Really lovely, romantic but not sickly, she's a great actress too and she's so so stunning. Good job
Scores - Me - 8 Judges

Vanessa and James - Tango
Look I'm not being mean (apart from totally being mean), but what the very fuck have they done to her hair? Dudes this is the only foot wrong in the entire of the costumes and hair/make up but it's a doozy! Also this dance was so bad that I was actually embarrassed and had to watch it through my fingers - not with delight like Dave and Karen, but in definite cringeville. They deserve the boot for this one methinks! No amount of tearful  outpourings on her love of the dance should save her now!
Scores - me - 3 Judges - 3,5,6,6

Ashley and O'LaLa - Samba
Not blinking bad I thought, good rhythm, good synchronicity, a tiny bit saucy a really good routine I thought.
Scores - Me -  8 Judges - 8,8.7.8 - oooh the happy pills have run out.. quick get Len a G&T!

Natalie and Artem - Rumba
Her movements are beautiful, the chick can move. She is an exquisite dancer and that was a lovely routine. Did anyone else think there was a lack of heat though? It left me a tiny bit cold. The Joey Tribbiani theory of on stage chemistry goes - if there is passion on stage you have nothing to worry about, it's all out there. If there is no passion on stage you should worry as it means passion is happening off I'm just repeating what this wise and fictional character said...I'm not starting any viscious rumours nor nowt, I'm just saying. Slightly passionless for me but still really beautiful, I think this might just be me eh?
Scores Me - 8 Judges - 9,9,9,9

Deborah and Robin - Quickstep
You flipping go smiler! Her face lights up when she's dancing it is so freaking adorable and charming and lovely, she's just lovely to watch because of her obvious pleasure. And she did a really good job too a fabulous quickstep. I honestly kinda of well up a little watching her, she's so happy. It's lovely (you were utterly right Gillian Coyle!)
Scores - Me - 7 Judges - 7,7,7,7


Another disappointing opening dance. Booo. Maybe I'm just a miserable loveless coobag this week or maybe I'm becoming horrendously cynical and disgusterous as I age. Bah it was dull, I'm a cow...moving on!

Andrea Bocelli and snoggy dancing from Aliona (also with terrible hair) and Aljaz were both exquiste, his voice is so beautiful and they danced beautifully. Lovely.

Favourite WINKLEMAN moment during Len's Lens when she said "Ring a ding ding" she is also a colossal perv  I think, which just makes me love her all the more!

Dance off - Julien and Janette and Vanessa and James. I called this, and was not even vaugely surprised UNTIL Julien managed to up his game during the dance off, I really expected them to go but was ultimately glad it was Vanessa and James. Is this the earliest James has gone out? He took it pretty well.

Sigggggggggggh I hope the next theme is ROCK or summat this lovely dovey crap was a bit sickly for my liking. See youse next week Strictly fans!

PS extra treat, no need to thank me, just LOOK at the boy MOVE!

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Strictly - It's BACK!

I'm shocked really how many of you nutters have asked for the return of The Strictly Blog! I love youse for it so it is back, but I can't do all the pics and shiz as it's just too much work and I'm ill. So just the words people I hope that's ok!

So here we go - Strictly Week 2 and anyone who has ever read my blog before will know I did a flipping HAPPY dance around the living room when I heard there was no Bloody Brucie this week - WINKLEMAN all the way! I wonder if she'll marry me, I love her sooo much!  On with the dances:

1) Susanna and Kevin - Tango
Man she looked AMAZING, the hair, the dress, her already gorgeous face almost Drag Raced up. Stunning. A bit spaghetti armed and hesitant but lovely job, not sure about the choreography, he's  a new boy eh...he has a way to go I think, still we're off to a flying start!
Scores - Me= 7.  Judges = 7,8,8,8

2) Tony and Aliona - Charleston (apparently!)
Oh dear, and ahhhhh bless. It was blatantly rubbish, but he's so adorably smiley (this is going to be a feature throughout, a whole lot of not great dancers but gorgeous smilers - how are you supposed to resist them and be the correct level of mean about their rubbish skills eh?) I think this is Alionas punishment for wussying out of dancing with Johnny Ball she'll get a hottie next year for good behaviour I reckon. Also she looked fabulous, that costume was made of gorgeous. Anyway, I watched this with baited breath in case he passed out or dropped her and breathed a big sigh of relief at the end...could've have so easily been a diSARRRster darlings!
Scores - Me = 3 Judges = 2,4,4,3 AND Tess made a JUDGE DREDD joke, right there? Did you hear? Madly exciting! :-D

3) Natalie and Artem - Waltz
Beautiful, elegant, poised, perfect facial expression and wonderful arms and hands, wonderfully romantic. Bloody hell is it really only week 2. Go Natalie that was mint!
Scores - Me = 9 Judes= 8,9,8,9

4) Dave and Karen - American Smooth
Erm. Well. It's no good, I freaking love him, I'm trying to be all - well he's proper shit because well, he's proper shit. He's like a box of frogs, WHY are they restraining him, just let him out and let him hop about like a linty. Another amazing frock too, the dress makers have really stepped it up this year, amazing costumes!
Scores - Me - 5 Judges - 3,5,5,4

5) Patrick and Anya - Tango
Here man, it's that Ash offa casualty and he hasn't aged a a freaking bit in twenty years, we shouldn't be watching him dance - we should be dissecting him and finding the miracle anti aging cure! I absolutely LOVED the opening, I thought it was a very stylish routine altogether, though it flagged a little in the middle, I really like him and I think Anya is going to be one to watch. He had a bit o bum sticking out problem, I totally understand this, you don't feel right rubbing your naughty bits up against someone you're not doing the rumpy bumpy with...I have enormous chubobblies and find I hold myself back from people - or hug them to the side to avoid the offensive tits in the face problem. He'll get there! Go on my son!
Score - me - 7 Judges - 6,7,7,7

6) Deborah and Robin - Cha(r) Cha(r) Cha(r)  Dahlink
Another bugger of the smiling club. It's impossible to dislike her, she's so freaking happy to be dancing in the frock with the beautiful Robin, it's infections, I don't even think I watched her dance just her happy lil face. I have a feeling it was a little bit of the Fern variety, not quite there a bit careful but ha, who cares she's so freaking CUTE...I should point out that the extreme happy lady did not make me well up AT ALL in anyways I have a temperature so shuddup!
Scores - Me - 6 Judges - 5,7,6,6

7) Rachel and Pasha - Salsa
Awww bless her, for such a stunning women with an amazing figure she has no concept of sexy at all. She's like Sandy at the beginning of Grease (you know when she's 100% hotter but 99% less slutty?) She needs to find her inner whore or whooooer as I like to pronounce it. Still, she looked fab, is another of the smiler brigade and I could watch Pasha all day so ya nah, not bad!
Scores - Me - 5 Judges - 4,5,6,5

8) Vanessa and James - Waltz
Well, I didn't think she had that in her. (There might be a dirty joke there but I'm not touching it!) Quite lovely actually except for all the fooking tears. Howay man, stop yer bawling lass ye'll get nee sympathy here!
Scores - me - 6 Judges - 5,6,6,6,

9) Julien and Janette - Tango
Firstly, amazing, amazing style, both costumes and set and routine. Janette and Anya really liven up the Pro ladies routines. He's nee bloody good but he's trying so hard and the Judges are being bloody horrible. Thank goodness for Darcy (and I do because I adore her almost to Winkleman levels) I thought that was much more entertaining then he got credit for but hey ho, everyone has different opinions and those that disagree with me are entirely allowed to do so, though plainly they are wrong!
Scores - me - 5 Judges - 3,5,5,5,

10) Fiona and Anton - Cha Cha Cha
No hips and lots of mistakes but another member of the adorable smileys. They are ruining my fun! Nerves with this one, I reckon she could kick serious arse if she could get a hold of herself. Bless her.
Scores - me- 5 Judges - 6,6,5,5

11) Mark and Iveta - Salsa
He didn't seem to move his legs very much but his top half was giving it so much welly it was kind of strangely fantastic and his facial expressions were priceless!
Scores - me - 6 Judges - 4,6,7,5

12) Sophie and Brendan - Charleston
Week 2 people! WEEK 2! That was freaking amazing, I loved every second. We all know I'm partial to a bit of Brendan but it was her I couldn't take my eyes off, those endless legs and how perfect she was? He gets stick but I think Brendan is a lovely partner - always happy to let his lady shine..ooooh, ooh my brain just went to a dirty place! Dragging myself back to the edge of the gutter...brilliant that is all.
Scores - Me- 9 Judges 9,9,9,9

13) Ben and Kristina - Waltz
I HATE the song they danced to with such a wild and ridiculous passion that I missed most of this whilst bitching to my elder child about how much I hate this song and being utterly unable to explain why...I just do right, it's minging. Dance - aye alreet, nowt special, better then last week, nice arse  That's about it :-D
Scores - Me - 6 Judges - 6,6,7,6

14) Abby and Aljaz - Cha Cha Cha
Very little hips and made of nerves, much like Fiona to be honest. I didn't like this as much as the judges, I thought it was just ok. I do like her though and think she'll get better and better but found this a bit meh
Scores - me - 6 Judges - 7,7,8,8

15) Ashley and Ola - American Smooth
For once I didn't detest Ola's choreography! That was very charming in a deliciously old school manner. Lovely.
Scores - Me - 7  Judges - 7,9,8,8

All the dances have been danced so moving on to the RESULTS SHOW

Ok so the opening number I liked a whole lot, especially the opening with all the boys - yes I know you're shocked and I'm not even SLIGHTLY pervy or predictable! :-D

Also Matt Goss people - MATT GOSS singing 'When Will I Be Famous" without a single fecking "ooooooooooo aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh" how freaking disppointing was that? I kept adding the "oooooahhhs' in for him so he didn't feel stupid. To be honest thou, I freaking loved that, I really did. Wonderful.

So we end up with Tony and Aliona and Julien and Janette in the Dance Off, absolutely no surpises with either the bottom two or the following decision to keep Julien and lose Tony. Bye Bye King of the Smilers, it was nice seeing you!

That's it people - you asked for it, you got it. See you here next week...keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep dancing yer fingers crossed for more Winkleman on Saturday night! :-D (Though obviously I hope Bruce doesn't cark it or owt, I'm not *that* evil!)

Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Whittle Waffle Episode 2

Whittle Waffle Episode 2 which you can listen to HERE

And here's links to most everything I waffle on about:

Firstly, massive thanks to the outstandingly fabulous Sally Hurst for the amazing theme tune! Other podcast pluggage for Everything Starts With 2000AD

TV etc
Agents of SHIELD

Comics and Books
Blood Blokes by Adam Cadwell
Commando  and Keith Page
The Hound Of The D'Urbervilles by Kim Newman
Tove Jansson:
Clip from Tales in Moominland
Dancing Tove
Tove Jansson and Sort Of Books
SFX blog on Short Stories by moi

Doctor Who

Revenge of the Cybermen
 Beautiful Arundel

Silver Nemesis
The Lodger



The Knitting Goddess
The Shetland Trader
The Knit Studio

Scrumptious Socks!

                                                     Massive WIP pile!

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Whittle Waffle Pilot Episode

So here is the pilot episode of my new podcast Whittle Waffle! You can listen to it


And here are links to everything I talked about this episode!

The Listening Agent by Joe Decie
I Am Fire by Rachael Smith
2000AD and Everything Comes Back to 2000AD
Dead Mans Boots by Mike Carey
Moon Over Soho by Ben Aaronovitch
Star Trek Into Darkness
Once Upon A Time
The A Team Movie
The Doctor Who Magazine and Mike Collins and Ben Willsher
Classic Doctor Who
Skein Queen
Knitting Goddess
Star Trek Socks
Hitchhiker - A Trilogy of Four Patterns
Martina Behm
Flow - free game

Please feel free to leave feedback and thoughts and opinions I would totally appreciate it yo!

EDITED to add - many, many thanks to Rich for the awesome banner, you rock dude!

Monday, 25 March 2013

Links n Shiz

Wotcha folks

Here is a link to a nice blog written by that Lee with all the links to all the comics we talk about on the latest episode of Small Press Big Mouth - out now for your listening pleasure

Small Press Big Mouth Ep 42 - The Meaning of Grice

Here is the link to a short blog piece what I wrote like for wondrous SFX magazine website

Blog - The British Comic Awards

And a slightly older blog I wrote because I forget to link it here and it's one of my most favourites that I've written

Blog - Supergirl

Also I really recommend listening to this fantastic interview with amazing artist Ron Smith over on the ECBT2000AD website - It's fantastic

Ron Smith Interview

Ok, that's it for now. Please remember if you are submitting for Into The Woods 2 the deadline is Sunday 31st March.

cheers me dears

Friday, 15 March 2013

Podcasting is Brilliant!

I shall be recording a new episode of the Megacast tonight with the Wife Iz and FINALLY a new ep of Small Press Big Mouth with the other Wife Lee on Monday. In some sort of weird celebration here's some pics of me and my podcasting brethren - all photos nicked offa Facebook so if you tagged me I take that as permission to steal - just sayin! :-D

Friday, 8 March 2013

Into The Woods ...AGAIN

The time has come people; I’m finally ready – are you? Let’s make another book!

What I’m doing
After some real deliberation I have decided to stick with the Fairytale/Folklore theme for book two but this will be the last time I think (don’t hold me to that).  There is a definite atmosphere I am looking for in the stories, I will refer you to Into the Woods book one for an example. Prose examples I mentioned last time are anything at all by Angela Carter, Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman and any of Roald Dahl’s short stories, I think these are perfect examples of the tone I am hoping for, also see Porcelain and Unbelievable The Man Who Ate Daffodils in comic form.  And I do want it to have a similar “feel” to the last book. It will be entirely comic - not prose again this time. 

The brass tacks
  •  Money – there is none. I can make sure you get a contributor copy of the book and that’s about it I’m afraid. I will tell you that the first book had amazing reviews (a selection can be found HERE )  and I’m very proud of it, as are all of the creators and contributors who were involved last time around.  Any profit (hahahhahah) that is made will be put towards the printing costs of the next book
  •  This book will be set up almost exactly like the last one so I'm looking at about nine 5- page stories with some room for negotiation. You do not have to pitch as a team – I am happy to pair up writers and artists and letterers.  If you do pitch as a team and I like one of you more than the other please don’t be offended if I say so 
  •  The biggest difference this time around is that I am hoping to do this in colour. Oh yes, colour people - cool eh?
  • You can pitch from now or if you’re an artist let me know you’re interested from now and I’ll leave it open until the end of the month and I’ll make all my decisions then. This is a free for all pitch open to everybody so take a chance!
  •  You do not have to pitch a full script – you can if you want that is fine, but a decent synopsis is good too.
  • The magnificent Andy Bloor has already agreed to design the book again this time around and as he did such an amazing job last time (as well as having to hold my hand a lot!) I couldn't be more pleased.

I think that’s everything but if I have left anything out or you want to ask me anything at all please do get in touch